Sarah was one of the best classroom assistants you could hope for. She was clever, kind and understanding. It was almost like having another teacher in the room.

She was nearly always cheerful, except for this one day, when I found her outside with her ciggie and her tea looking  quite forlorn. It turned out that she’d been invited to a school reunion and was upset that she had no one to take. Now, Sarah wasn’t the most attractive woman in the world, and she had been bullied at school for this. she had dreamed of going to something like this school reunion and be able to show off her boyfriend. She was petrified of going as a single and having to cope with all those I-told-you-so looks and snide remarks.

Later that day she asked me if I’d go with her, pretend to be her boyfriend. I felt awful, but I felt so sad for her. She even offered me money. I agreed.

On the night, the do was held at this very posh hotel and I played my role perfectly, I held her close, whispered things in her ear that would make her giggle, and told everyone I could, just how wonderful she was and how lucky I was to have her.

They put us all up in the same hotel, in big swanky rooms. She’d had quite a bit to drink and suggested that we rattle the bed a bit and moan and shout some, so that the neighbours would think we were having knock-out sex. I’d had a bit to drink too and said “Fuck that!” I grabbed her and kissed her and chucked her onto the bed.

We made enough racket, that not only did the neighbours hear us but the neighbours’ neighbours did. I think she might have blown it though, because each time she came, she screamed “Thank you!”

21 responses

  1. Thank you???? How in the hell you scream “thank you” after coitus? I guess women are different.
    For me is either; get this shit over with cose I’m chaffing over here…or….PRAISE JESUS, I HAVE FOUND THE DICK O’ LIFE!!!!!

    13.01.09 at 21.31

    • she was one of a kind 🙂

      13.01.10 at 03.36

      • I guess so, but honestly I’d never thank someone after sex, cuz I did just as much work as they did so; Thank Us 😛

        13.01.10 at 03.40

  2. Pingback: A total dick « kyle mew

  3. Felt sad about Sarah. 🙂

    12.05.22 at 22.28

    • me too – in fact, i’ve never felt so bad in my life

      12.05.22 at 22.29

  4. afterhours78

    Do what you do Kyle…still my hero

    12.05.22 at 18.51

    • and you mine fella

      12.05.22 at 22.30

  5. hehehe!

    12.05.22 at 12.05

    • thank you my dawn

      12.05.22 at 12.24

  6. I can’t stop laughing. Thank you. hehehe

    12.05.22 at 02.51

    • you’re welcome

      12.05.22 at 10.56

  7. LOL

    12.05.22 at 02.25

  8. Very funny stuff. So glad you didn’t ‘suffer’! SOL (I assume she didn’t squiggle, but perhaps YOU did?)

    12.05.21 at 21.33

    • SOL – we both did a bit

      12.05.21 at 22.04

      • Oh good….never waste a good squiggle moment!

        12.05.21 at 22.06

  9. TemptingSweets99

    Haha! I guess that means you didn’t respond, “You’re welcome!” 🙂

    12.05.21 at 21.24

    • i’m glad i didn’t think of that 😉

      12.05.21 at 22.03

  10. chrisdevoss


    12.05.21 at 21.12

    • hehe – thanks chris

      12.05.21 at 22.03

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