The Window

“Okay, I think you should begin by logging out of Facebook.” my therapist explains.
“Oh, I do.” I say, “Every time I go out, or have to work or have friends round, I log out.”
“No, that’s not what I mean.” she says, knowing what pain her next words will cause me, “I want you to log out of Facebook permanently. You need to deactivate your account.”
“But why?” I stammer. She looks up from her notes, straight at me.
“You need to wean yourself off the internet, Kyle. We discussed this in your last session.”
“All of it?” I implore, knowing the answer before I hear it.
“Yes Kyle. All of it.”
“Even WordPress?”
“Especially WordPress Kyle.” she smiles, “We discussed this. You agreed it was for the best.” My head drops, in meek acknowledgement. “You see that?” she asks, gesturing, with a nod, towards the large glass pane to my right.
“The window?” I ask.
“Through that.” she urges
“Outside?”
“Yes, Kyle. Outside.”
In the background I hear a choir singing. The tune is Desmond Dekker’s Israelites, the words are:

Me wek up in da mornin,
wantin me ganja,
me got me rocket
but me not got me rizla
oooh,ooooh-

Then I realise what’s going on… and wake up.

21 responses

  1. Rob

    I share your horror of that nightmare but remember: this is all very recent. How did we live before someone invented the internet and social sites? Can you remember what you used to do with all the time you now spend online?

    12.06.18 at 08.34

    • i don’t think i can remember a time before faecbook, even though i spent most of my life without it – weird

      12.06.18 at 08.51

  2. You better not make this dream a reality. I will pout and stomp my foot. Hard.

    12.06.18 at 00.36

    • don’t worry marion, i’m going nowhere

      12.06.18 at 05.52

  3. never… NEVER!

    12.06.17 at 21.36

    • i promise jenni

      12.06.18 at 05.51

  4. LMAO!!! This reminds of a post I was gonna do about a week ago of a nightmare I’d had. I woke up abruptly…my skin a bit damp …my heart pounding out of my chest…and I couldn’t stop this horrible feeling…all because I was told I was cute…then for the love of….well I thought I was cute….I didn’t know what to do.

    12.06.17 at 20.40

    • if your words are anything to go by, you are incredibly cute isabella

      12.06.18 at 05.51

      • Haha…cute…hellion maybe 😛

        12.06.18 at 09.37

  5. What a fucking nightmare!

    12.06.17 at 19.26

  6. Too funny – unless this really was a dream, in which case – I strongly suggest that you try some guided imagery before going to bed…or, a glass of wine..

    12.06.17 at 18.02

    • good advice mimi

      12.06.18 at 05.47

      • 😉 Have a good day..

        12.06.18 at 05.57

  7. you need some other kind of stimulation babe….no good can come of dreaming about therapy, unless is more hands on. know what i mean? need some help, just ask…k? 😉

    12.06.17 at 14.23

    • good to know you’re there babe

      12.06.18 at 05.47

  8. Total nightmare….

    12.06.17 at 14.08

    • i love that moment when you wake up and realise its just a dream tho…

      12.06.17 at 14.15

      • Thank God for that–this could be a new kind of really inexpensive therapy, and if you disagree with it, you can brush it off as a dream.

        12.06.17 at 14.33

  9. Cute, Kyle. Very Cute. For A Second, I Was Really Worried You Were Leaving. Glad You Woke The Fuck Up, Ya Know!?! hehehe

    12.06.17 at 13.56

    • what a nightmare, eh? LOL

      12.06.17 at 14.04

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