Barred

Why didn’t you tell me you kept a blog?

I didn’t really want you reading it. It’s not really me, it’s just like rough notes and ideas and stuff.

Bull-crap! It’s totally you: it’s sweet and pathetic and it tries too hard to be funny and clever. It’s exactly like you!

Hmm, how much have you read?

Oh, loads la. I love it. It’s a shame you don’t have any actual talent or –

Have you read any of the erotica?

 – actual talent or anything worth writing about, is what I was trying to say [ SCOWLS ]. Have I read any of the filth? Yes, and it’s disgusting. But so are you. [ SMIRKS ] I’m not complaining am I?

It’s just a bit embarrassing, having you read that kinda stuff, it’s like having you walk in on me masturbating.

I can see how that would be embarrassing yes, but you don’t masturbate publicly on WordPress do you?

I tried once, but it got no likes and some of the comments about my penis hurt my feelings.

[ ALMOST LAUGHS ] Nice.

 Sooo, you wanna watch me have a wank then?

[ SIGHS ] Why are you so determined to get yourself barred from my vagina Kyle?

7 responses

  1. Dude. Hilarious.

    21.08.01 at 12.09

    • Thanks man. I have a fantastic muse, but don’t tell her, I don’t think she knows I keep a blog.

      21.08.01 at 14.52

      • I’m so curious now… did I tell you yet how happy I am to see you back and posting, and bring your own very unique voice back to the blogosphere?

        21.08.02 at 21.57

        • Oh trust me, I know everything about you Mew, including your passwords – see?
          Thank you Trent, I know that Kyle is pleased to be back and he told me that he was particularly happy to see that you were still around.

          21.08.03 at 09.46

          • Whaaaat… who is this, then???

            21.08.04 at 08.17

            • It’s me. Her. The woman from Kyle’s ridiculous stories. I’ve locked him out. Temporarily mind, as I believe he is about to bring this rather poorly thought out series of dialogues to something of a spectacular conclusion in the next post or two. I’d appreciate it if you could make a point of reading them Trent as (you know) Kyle is in dire need of some tips on how to string a coherent sentence together. I’ve tried my best but I fear it may just be congenital stupidity. Anyway good luck with that, as you will see, I won’t be around for long. Ax

              21.08.04 at 12.14

              • Yikes. It seems like my efforts are needed here. I’m on it!

                21.08.08 at 15.11

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