Why didn’t you tell me you kept a blog?
I didn’t really want you reading it. It’s not really me, it’s just like rough notes and ideas and stuff.
Bull-crap! It’s totally you: it’s sweet and pathetic and it tries too hard to be funny and clever. It’s exactly like you!
Hmm, how much have you read?
Oh, loads la. I love it. It’s a shame you don’t have any actual talent or –
Have you read any of the erotica?
– actual talent or anything worth writing about, is what I was trying to say [ SCOWLS ]. Have I read any of the filth? Yes, and it’s disgusting. But so are you. [ SMIRKS ] I’m not complaining am I?
It’s just a bit embarrassing, having you read that kinda stuff, it’s like having you walk in on me masturbating.
I can see how that would be embarrassing yes, but you don’t masturbate publicly on WordPress do you?
I tried once, but it got no likes and some of the comments about my penis hurt my feelings.
[ ALMOST LAUGHS ] Nice.
Sooo, you wanna watch me have a wank then?
[ SIGHS ] Why are you so determined to get yourself barred from my vagina Kyle?