I was looking through my old Farcebook status updates – these were my top ten, in no particular order. Please help yourselves, and feel free to add some of your own in the comments section, I am sure to use them:
- “will be as faithful to you as a dog and come every time you whistle”
- “is bigger on the inside”
- “remembers the time you ate his goldfish”
- “wanted to unleash a deadly computer virus on you all but couldn’t master the technology – would you mind manually deleting all the important files from your hard drive please and pass this on to fifty of your friends?”
- “is why they put a warning on the box”
- “knows where you live”
- “doesn’t understand why the cat was in the bag in the first place”
- “says the first law of thermodynamics is that we don’t talk about thermodynamics”
- “is proof that ancient man mated with neanderthals”
- “bought some batteries, but they weren’t included”
12.01.25 | Categories: musings, sex, writing | Tags: comedy, dark comedy, Facebook, Farcebook, First law of thermodynamics, Hard disk drive, Heat, Physical law, Physics, Social network, Thermodynamics, Top 40, top ten | Leave a comment
A little while back, I was temporarily barred from Farcebook. It was a very strange experience, as I generally spend most of my life there. The way it works is quite strange – you can still access your account, whilst barred, and see what all your friends are up to but you cannot join in – any attempt to post or comment is met with a swift rebuke from the Fartbook police and a threat of an extended ban. I felt like a naughty child, forced to stand in a corner whilst everybody else played.
Anyway I decided, that, rather than sit there and sulk, I would go and see if there was still such a thing as the real world… and guess what? There is: it is called Twitter.